May 2013
17 posts
May 25th
May 24th
May 24th
May 24th
Published on Postmodernize! →
Hey guys! Postmostmodernize released a piece of mine today that I’m excited about! Not really a funny one but more crisis-ey. Either way, enjoy it!
May 23rd
Some Folks You Should Know
I just finished working for the New Zealand Int’l Comedy Festival and it was a blast and I miss it so freaking much already. Nearly all of the comedians were ones I had never heard of.   Boy, was I uneducated. So, so many wonderful talents. American comedy is amazing as we are all aware but….you guys…there is so much more. I never knew. Look up NZ comedians Joseph Moore,...
May 21st
May 19th
May 19th
“It is not that I do not love you, it’s just that I hate everyone.”
– Titus Andronicus, ”Tried To Quit Smoking”
May 18th
May 15th
109 notes
“Archaeologists have not yet discovered any stage of human existence without art....”
– Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Beauty Will Save the World  (via delicateswans)
May 14th
1,625 notes
May 11th
47 notes
“On Tuesday, April 13, 2004, NASA used “Where is My Mind?” to wake up...”
– Wikipedia How cool is that?
May 10th
May 9th
May 9th
17 notes
May 5th
May 5th
April 2013
18 posts
Apr 30th
If there is one thing we need to take care to pass on to the women of the next generation it is to NOT RUIN DISNEY MOVIES FOR YOURSELVES AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU WITH YOUR SMART COLLEGE ANALYSIS just watch it and ENJOY it GODDAMMIT.
Apr 25th
Apr 23rd
Apr 23rd
955 notes
We get personal trainers/post Facebook updates/do most things because we can’t successfully carry out tasks without the light of the promise of approval from other human beings shining at the end of the tunnel.
Apr 20th
Apr 20th
3 notes
Apr 16th
Apr 16th
2 notes
So I’ve done the whole “meeting people” and “talking to people” and “creating relationships with people” thing. It was hard and crushing and rewarding but I made it out alive. Ready for Level 2! Wait. There’s no Level 2? This whole “life” thing literally just stays in the horrendous meeting/talking to/creating relationships with...
Apr 14th
Apr 14th
11 notes
“Yikes, good luck getting THAT through customs!”
– My catch-all fail-safe comedy line
Apr 12th
Apr 7th
Apr 5th
1 note
Apr 4th
189 notes
I have something on McSweeney's today! →
Enjoy!
Apr 2nd
Apr 2nd
Apr 2nd
Apr 1st
303 notes
Apr 1st
March 2013
8 posts
Mar 30th
“If one train is going east at 40 miles per hour and another is going south from the same point at 25 miles per hour…,” but then the Houghton Mifflin copywriter leaned back in his chair, brushed his hands through his hair, and thought to himself, “I need to be more original.”
Mar 30th
Mar 22nd
Mar 16th
704 notes
I tell people I’m going on a trip and they’re all, “Who are you going with?” and I’m like EXCUSE ME but FUCK YOU FOREVER can’t you see this is some SERIOUS Eat, Pray, Love shit I’m trying to do right now?!?!?
Mar 12th
Mar 12th
1 note
Mar 3rd
488 notes
February 2013
15 posts
Essay Featured on Splitsider! →
I hope you like it! More writing here: http://lizarcury.wordpress.com
Feb 25th
1 note
Feb 23rd
Feb 23rd
Feb 21st
“Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth—look at the...”
– Soren Kierkegaard (via fuckyeahexistentialism)
Feb 18th
709 notes
Piece Featured on CollegeHumor! →
Feb 17th
New Writing Up! →
Feb 17th