Grand Spectacular Extravaganza O-Rama: Archive

May 25th

May 24th

Published on Postmodernize! →

Hey guys! Postmostmodernize released a piece of mine today that I’m excited about! Not really a funny one but more crisis-ey. Either way, enjoy it!

May 23rd

Some Folks You Should Know

I just finished working for the New Zealand Int’l Comedy Festival and it was a blast and I miss it so freaking much already. Nearly all of the comedians were ones I had never heard of. Boy, was I uneducated. So, so many wonderful talents. American comedy is amazing as we are all aware but….you guys…there is so much more. I never knew. Look up NZ comedians Joseph Moore,...

May 21st

May 19th

“It is not that I do not love you, it’s just that I hate everyone.”

– Titus Andronicus, ”Tried To Quit Smoking”

May 18th

May 15th

109 notes

“Archaeologists have not yet discovered any stage of human existence without art....”

– Alexander Solzhenitsyn, Beauty Will Save the World (via delicateswans)

May 14th

1,625 notes

May 11th

47 notes

“On Tuesday, April 13, 2004, NASA used “Where is My Mind?” to wake up...”

– Wikipedia How cool is that?

May 10th

May 9th

17 notes

May 5th

Apr 30th

If there is one thing we need to take care to pass on to the women of the next generation it is to NOT RUIN DISNEY MOVIES FOR YOURSELVES AND EVERYONE AROUND YOU WITH YOUR SMART COLLEGE ANALYSIS just watch it and ENJOY it GODDAMMIT.

Apr 25th

Apr 23rd

955 notes

We get personal trainers/post Facebook updates/do most things because we can’t successfully carry out tasks without the light of the promise of approval from other human beings shining at the end of the tunnel.

Apr 20th

3 notes

Apr 16th

2 notes

So I’ve done the whole “meeting people” and “talking to people” and “creating relationships with people” thing. It was hard and crushing and rewarding but I made it out alive. Ready for Level 2! Wait. There’s no Level 2? This whole “life” thing literally just stays in the horrendous meeting/talking to/creating relationships with...

Apr 14th

11 notes

“Yikes, good luck getting THAT through customs!”

– My catch-all fail-safe comedy line

Apr 12th

Apr 7th

Apr 5th

1 note

Apr 4th

189 notes

I have something on McSweeney's today! →

Enjoy!

Apr 2nd

Apr 1st

303 notes

Apr 1st

Mar 30th

“If one train is going east at 40 miles per hour and another is going south from the same point at 25 miles per hour…,” but then the Houghton Mifflin copywriter leaned back in his chair, brushed his hands through his hair, and thought to himself, “I need to be more original.”

Mar 30th

Mar 22nd

Mar 16th

704 notes

I tell people I’m going on a trip and they’re all, “Who are you going with?” and I’m like EXCUSE ME but FUCK YOU FOREVER can’t you see this is some SERIOUS Eat, Pray, Love shit I’m trying to do right now?!?!?

Mar 12th